Worst Nightmare

My kids go to school literally right behind out house.  I can stand on my back porch and see their classroom.  In some way, that is comforting to me.  But, then again - I have no control.  Evil happens.  God is Sovereign.  This time, my kids were not harmed.  But, I ache for the families who lost their little ones.  My eyes and my heart well up when I imagine it.  In the wake of this horrible tragedy, our pastor delivered the best sermon I could have heard Sunday.  I urge you to listen here with open hearts and minds and be moved.  


"...Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I".  Ps. 61:2

Second Grade--best school grade ever!

I will have two second graders tomorrow. I remember everything about second grade because I met one of my forever best friends that I still talk to almost every week. I remember her walking into class with her swinging pony tail and sitting down in front of me. I also remember her yelling "Run!" at me the first time we played kick ball at recess because of course I was the only one who had never played before and was clueless. I can name every kid in the class picture my mom still has. I have so many funny and lasting memories from that year. My school was Travis Heights in Austin. After living in many cities, my kids are now starting second grade in Austin. I hope they meet best friends for life and have good memories from this year, but no pressure:) I get teary eyed when thinking of how God orchestrates everything and all good things are from Him. On my first day of class, I had no idea of the lasting friendship about to be formed, but God did!

Moms for Moms

I've never seen a full episode of any of the teen mom MTV shows. But, every week, I volunteer at a program for teen moms at an Austin high school. Today I was reminded that because of all those shows where chaos reigns in the homes and lives of those teen moms that even the phrase "teen mom" now has a negative stigma attached to it and the teens I am with each week would rather just be a "mom". They are teens, yes. They are also in high school and extra curricular activities of all sorts. They are beautiful and smart and speak their mind. And they have children and/or are pregnant. And though I go each week supposedly to help and encourage them. They help me so much more. I see the world differently through their eyes; I see God's great grace and mercy upon my life and theirs; and I see my circumstances, that I all too often complain about, are nothing at all to complain about.

One of the moms in the group is currently salutatorian of her class and wants to be a lawyer. I believe she will be one. And I believe she will all the while, somehow, figure out how to continue to be a loving mom to her daughter. What I pray for all of them, though, is that they will not struggle in their own strength, but lean on Jesus. That's ultimately why we are there with them each week - to show the love of Christ and that He compels us.

Aloha!

Tyler has been with Alcon for 9.5 yrs. For many of those he has come SO close to winning a spot in their "Presidents Club" which means he is at the very top for what he does. It ALSO means he and I get to go on a crazy amazing trip in April. Well, guess what? THIS year - he WON! We are going to HAWAII in April this year! I can't even believe it, but I can. He is so good at what he does and he will confess that the more the Lord has changed his heart over the years to work for God and not for man, he has gotten even better at what he does. He is a great salesman because people love him, and people always want to buy from people they like and trust. Ok, the products are good, too:)! Plus, he is a super coach to his team. If he can teach me, of all people, how to properly throw a spiral with a football, he can surely coach his team to do their jobs to the best of their abilities and beyond. I'm so proud of him and so excited for me:) Ha. Does all the traveling he does suck? Yep. Would I trade this one trip for him to be home every night during the year? Yep. But - I can't change the facts right now and so I'm going to totally enjoy Hawaii with my love.

This Week was a Doozy!

Tyler could not have picked a worse week to be gone. Of course, he didn't pick it. He would happily un-pick it, but duty calls. Monday the kids were out of school, so we took a day trip to Katy to see our sweet friends and their newly adopted son. It was a precious time, but it made for tired kiddos and mama. Not to mention, I can't seem to get in bed before midnight when Tyler is gone! Tuesday night we took out our monthly Mobile Loaves and Fishes truck. Again - precious time serving and seeing my kids make hot chocolate for homeless people - would NOT trade it. But still...having Tyler around during those times is so much better (and easier!). And Wednesday and Thursday, I had a house full of family here to see my cousin become a state trooper. I love my family, but there is just a lot of them and it helps to have my partner during those times. Plus, I always put pressure on myself to be a perfect hostess with a super clean house and yummy food. All it really does in the end is wear me out - I doubt my guests care all that much if my baseboards are gleaming and the eggs are perfectly scrambled. I'm learning, folks. So, today is Friday and I'm counting down the minutes and miles until Tyler is home (that's right, I'm tracking him with a gps on my phone!). The baby woke up with a cold (boo!) and is napping and the big kids are happily playing with the neighbors. I'm truly wiped out this week. There were many moments when I wanted to curl into a ball and cry, but #1 I didn't have time and #2 I was reminded by the Lord that it's all going to be ok! He's got the world in his hand - and my hard week is included in that. I failed at times this week, and the dog didn't get daily walks and was extra needy, but I did have some good times in the Word, made some lasting memories with my 3 babies, and took some great pics of family. However, I don't want to do it again anytime soon. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to. It's a fact of our life right now. Grace, grace, God's grace!

Natalie

Laney and Daddy, Michael

Natalie and Mommy, Kristi

Danielle feeding Payson cake and he LOVED it

State Trooper Walts and proud wifey

Payson fascinated with balloons

Christmas 2011

It zoomed in and out before we knew it! Christmas can be a tough season...dealing with family is often difficult; instilling in your children that Jesus is the only reason for the season is trying; December 26th when it's all said and done until next year can be depressing; knowing many do nothing, get nothing, have nothing, while we celebrate in abundance is devastating. So, what can I do differently (365 days of the year - not just 1) to make sure I experience and spread God's true joy? 1. Pray! Through prayers to know His desires as my own, my heart can/will be changed. 2. Read and meditate on His Word. The WORD became FLESH and DWELT among US - He is IMMANUEL which means God WITH us. 3. Simplify. Buy less and buy responsibly. 4. Do more for others. Volunteer and serve those in need to take focus off ourselves. 5. Sing! Be led to the manger scene through worship...O, Holy Night - Hallelujah, What a Savior! And for me...6. Bite my tongue! I need to be waaaay more "slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to become angry". You know...that whole family all around all the time at holidays:)

So, if you had the best Christmas ever or the family fell apart...guess what? We can start fresh! Remember, God is WITH us! Hallelujah, What a Savior! He will not leave us or forsake us. The good work He started, He will finish. Christmas will always be here. It will ALWAYS be about JESUS. How we decide to celebrate is up to us.

And with that all said, here are pictures of my kids getting way too many toys. Kidding. Sort of.

Miracles on Wheels...

I've talked before about starting to serve with Mobile Loaves and Fishes. Well, I went out last night for the second time, but the rest of the fam came along on this trip and it was a beautiful sight! We got to the prep kitchen at Lake Hills Church at 4pm to make sandwiches and load the truck with goods. We put Payson in a high chair that attached to the table we made sandwiches on and he just watched and ate and was so happy. Porter and Piper worked hard doing anything we asked without complaint...loading chips on the truck, putting jelly on sandwiches, etc. So proud! Our only mishap was Payson pooping thru his clothes and the only clean outfit I had in my bag was from the summer...too small and did not over his legs. So, we just put on his jacket and hiked his socks up as high as they would go. He seemed to care less. Anyway...when the truck was all ready just before 6pm, we loaded up and headed to Central, East Austin to a low income apartment complex that we were told has lots of kids so it would be appropriate to take our kids. We wondered where was the best place to park and would people all come out and know we were there? Well, that thought lasted for only a second because as we pulled in, flocks of people started coming out of their doors...they must have been looking out their windows waiting for us! We jumped out, and got moving. The truck has 3 sections...a food side, a clothing side, and hot chocolate and coffee in the back. The clothes literally all went within 5 minutes. Next time we will definitely pack more! Everyone, including all the tiny kids, were mostly sockless and shoeless and dressed for summer when it was probably in the 40's outside. Everyone was very sweet and no one seemed to take more food than they needed. Little kids were standing in line to get food for their families. Everyone loved oranges which we ran out of at the end, PBJ's were a bigger hit than ham and cheese, and of course cookies and candy went fast! We will pack the truck with more knowledge next time. We were cleaned out completely with nothing left within 30 minutes. It was crazy and amazing and also very sad. I'm so glad my kids got the be there and see and participate. I hope the truth of poverty, our need to serve, and thankfulness and joy sets into their hearts. I really am speechless when I try to explain the feelings I have about it all. I think you have to do it to fully understand. It blesses us and changes us probably more than the people we served. We fed them with literal food, they fed us with so much more. God is good and will never fail to meet our needs and never fail to be glorified in serving and feeding the poor.

I took some pics of the preparation stage, but not of the serving stage. I wish I could have gotten pictures of all the beautiful faces that came out, though.

Thankful.

So, it's finally November (even though it's still feeling like summer!) and we enter into the "thankful" season. I'm a big journaler and I used to write at least 5 things I was thankful for each day, but I haven't done that in a long time. However, we are starting a thankful tree this month! I made little tags and each day we are writing one thing we are thankful for and hanging them on a branch-like thing. We'll see if we can keep it up all month:) Regardless, we have tons to be thankful for - way more than one thing a day. To show Porter and Piper's differences...we started the tree today (the 2nd), so we had to come up with two things and Porter spouted out God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and his family; Piper said she was ONLY thankful for her kiki/special blanket (which when she wrote, she spelled gee gee, so I guess I've been wrong all these years). At the end of the day, Porter narrowed his two things to God and Jesus and Piper added to her one thing, her family. Wow, thanks. Mine were: Payson's first Thanksgiving, and Porter and Piper reading. Tyler's out of town, but he will join the thankful party tomorrow! And just to be clear we are thankful TO the Lord for all of these things. He is all that is good and everything good comes from Him. He is Jehovah Jireh, God Provider.

Other things I'm especially thankful for TODAY:

*coffee with a good friend

*my chiropractor

*laughing with my kids

*leftovers

*walks in good weather

*three kids in bed by 7

*dark chocolate

*the show, Parenthood

*that nothing hinges on me...God is always telling me "Amy, I GOT this!"

*sparkling water

*that Porter and Piper gave our crossing guard, Ms. Betty, some of their halloween candy

*that Piper asked tonight to pray for her so she wouldn't be "mean in the morning" (can we say grumpy sleepy girl who hates waking up in the mornings??!! She got it honest.)

*Pinterest where I got this idea in the first place:)

Bikes?

My heart is soft for the homeless in our society. One of my BFF's just dreamed a very extreme dream about it the other night...we were letting a homeless man stay with us and found out he was a werewolf, but I promised she would be safe staying with us too because we tied him up at night. I also bribed her to stay by buying all her favorite coffee creamers. Crazy!!

Back to reality...I remember being at McDonald's on Barton Springs in downtown Austin when I was a little girl as homeless man walked in and asked if they could spare a Happy Meal for him, but they turned him away. I looked at my dad with tears in my eyes and said "Please? He asked for a HAPPY MEAL!!??", so my sweet dad chased him down and bought the man a Happy Meal. So, maybe that's where the Lord planted a seed?

We were involved in an awesome ministry serving the homeless in Kansas and since back in TX, I've been longing to serve in that arena again and just can't seem to get connected - or I have a load of excuses like, "I just had a baby...I have twins in 1st grade...I don't live downtown (oh, but I WOULD if it was up to me!!!)...I don't know where to start, etc., etc." I. I. I. = NO good. Life is a vapor. I don't want to look back and see I did nothing with what I was given.

We are actually finally about to get trained with Mobile Loaves and Fishes - a great help to the homeless in our city. BUT...we had our own idea the other day - give bikes away to the homeless! Is it a crazy idea? Are we naive? Would it even be helpful or would they laugh in our faces when we hand them a bike? It just seems like it could help them get around...shelters, job interviews, jobs, out of bad weather, to and from wherever they call "home", whatever. Austin is such a bike-friendly place and it's really easy to get around on one here. But, really, we just need to talk to them and see if it's even a need. And yes, there is the thought that whatever we give them could be sold for money to buy drugs and alcohol because that's what we think all homeless people do, right? Maybe sometimes, maybe not - that's not our call. The bottom line is - when we show people Jesus' love, they are moved (and we are humbled). Maybe not the first time and maybe not every time, but one time is worth it.

"If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?"

James 2:16

Life changing read: Same Kind of Different as Me

"When I Die..."

I've always thought I was going to die sooner than later. It's quite morbid, I know. And it drives Tyler crazy because I'm aways saying these type of things:

When I die...

Make sure you learn how to properly fix Piper's curly hair

Look at the kids' faces before you send them to school

Don't forget to send notes in the their lunch boxes

Buy organic

Let my mom be your Nanny

Get a job where you don't travel

And the list goes on. You see, I still want to be in control even in my death! But, I'm not now and I won't be then. Surprise, surprise, huh? Yep, just as God is a Father to the Fatherless, He is more than able to care for these kids while I'm here and whenever He decides to call me home - not a day too early or late. But...I'm praying I see them know Jesus and bring Him glory, and that I see their children do the same!

The funny thing is what Tyler said recently..."When I die, promise me you won't celebrate Halloween!" He hates it.

Yep, they're Twins

They are 6 years old and I still get the same questions about the miracle that is twins. I'm not upset about giving the same answers all the time. It's almost comical now. But, for the record - here are the stats. I've been asked all of these multiple times, I promise:

*Are they twins? Yes!

*Are they identical? If you thought about that question about 5 seconds longer, you may not ask it, but - um, NO they are not identical because one is a boy and one is a girl. But, usually I just smile and say "nope":)

*Do twins run in your family? Yes, as a matter of fact!

*Did you do fertility treatments? Yes, as a matter of fact!

*How much did they weigh when they were born? 5lbs 8oz and 5lbs 9oz

*Did you have a c-section? No

*How much weight did you gain? I stopped weighing at 50 lbs gained.

*How long did you carry them? 35 weeks and 2 days

*Were you on bed rest? Yes, 11 long weeks!

*Were they in the NICU? Yes, 10 days for Porter and 12 for Piper. Nothing major, though.

*Did you nurse them? Yes, for just over a year. Don't ask me how - it's all a blur! Just glad it wasn't triplets.

*Do they have their own twin language? Not that I know of:)

*How did you do it? I don't know...God's grace and strength and not knowing any better!

Ever since Tyler and I got married, we had a strange feeling we were going to have twins. I remember stopping in the hallway before our first sonogram and breathing one last prayer for twins. And although I was heaving sobs when we actually saw the TWO heartbeats, I wasn't surprised - but I am forever thankful.

Now that I have just ONE baby, I sometimes miss the magic of twins. They always had a playmate - and still do! We see in them how God creates each of us uniquely...they have been together from the start, have been raised in the same household, by the same parents, at the same time, but they are each SO different! However, having just ONE baby is a special thing all it's own that I appreciate even more than I would otherwise. He does not have to share my attention (or mealtime!) with another baby! And he has a big brother and sister to teach him, tickle him, help him, and love him doubly.

Having/raising twins is HARD and is finally getting easier (a little) after 6 years, but really - parenthood in general is a crazy ride. Deepest heartaches and deepest joys are involved. We struggle everyday, but have to trust that the God who blessed me with these 3 beauties is the God that will supply and provide.

Bad Day?

Have you whined or complained about your bad day lately? I can tell you for sure I have...the HEAT, Tyler's crazy travel schedule, turning 35, etc. BUT, I beg you to take a look HERE, and then you may develop a new perspective along with shedding lots of tears. A very wise friend once told me God isn't as concerned about my happiness as He is my holiness. And out of holiness, by and through Christ, I WILL have joy and peace. Those are so much richer than fleeting happiness. Cancer does not produce happiness. But, it is drawing my friend, Jen, and those around her nearer to the Lord and that is the most precious place to be.

First Week of First Grade - Long Post

We did it! And with much less emotional breakdowns and worry. I think it will always be hard to send my kids off to school with the majority of their day away from me, but to know they are happy and well - adjusted (for the most part) makes it at least more comforting. And I LOVE the blessing of boy/girl twins that are in the same class and always have each other. However, on the first day I asked who they sat by at lunch and when Piper said she sat by Porter, I said, "Oh, that's so sweet!" and she said, "Well, there was no where else to sit." Oh well. I still feel good about it:) Their teacher seems great - calm and organized. They have a few friends they already know in their class, too.

Tyler was out of town all week and that is pretty stinky, but my mom helped us out, and that was huge! I say "help us out" but she was not exactly helpful on the first day of school when she let the dog out and he attacked the sweet dog across the street about to go for a walk. I was heading back from dropping the kids off when I heard my mom scream "AMY!" and saw Scout running for the dog. The owner was just going to let his dog meet Scout because who would look at Scout and think he's a dog killer? So, I screamed as I'm running toward them, "Get your dog BACK!", but I was too late. Scout was wrestling the dog down and making horrible, scary sounds. The owner was kicking Scout and I was looking for a hold on his collar to pull him off (despite the fact that we practically weigh about the same amount). Nothing was working and I was sure the victim dog was about to die, so in the midst of families walking their children to school, I laid my whole body down on top of my fighting dog. And he just quietly lays down and relaxes underneath me like that's what he was waiting for. And SOMEHOW the other dog walked away without even a scratch! I guess Scout doesn't want to actually KILL - just intimidate? Thankfully, the owner is the friendliest man on earth and was very understanding and forgiving - at least he acted that way:) That said, I still don't really like to make eye contact when I see him now. We are continuing to take Scout to a dog trainer, but I'm not sure if it's helping or not. I have a few ideas of my own that I will carry out if I can get another dog to volunteer to possibly be mauled if the plan goes awry. I know there is hope for our otherwise perfectly perfect dog, though. There has to be. In the mean time, I'm laying hands on him and praying:)!

Tyler comes home today! I have been on an organizing rampage while he's been gone, so that's kept me busy. I even managed to take the trash out TWICE which is a huge accomplishment for me while he's gone. I used to just stuff it down and not close the lid, and add more bags next to it and fill those. I did leave the pile of recycling for him to take out - so he can still feel needed around here.

And if you haven't heard about our Blizzy's trouble, read here. Ugh!

God is good no matter what. And all the good and all the bad are working to sanctify!

Last Weeks of Summer

Well, maybe it's owning Blizzy's, maybe it's the third child, maybe it's the two older children fighting all day long, but summer has FLOWN by - even despite this crazy heat wave! I can not believe school starts back up in just over a week. Payson weighs 20 pounds, is crawling, pulling up and being as cute and sweet as ever. And the olders are starting FIRST grade! What??!! We've had lots of good company in lately...we love friends and family always filling our home. Tyler and I celebrated 12 years of marriage with paddleboarding on town lake (neither of us fell off the board!) and dinner at our all time fave Austin eatery, SoCo Cafe. If you go, don't even look at the menu - just order crab cakes and sea bass on homemade gnocchi! We also just attended an amazing parenting seminar with Paul Tripp at our church, The Austin Stone. SO GOOD! Go, if he comes near you. It's all about the big picture - helping your kids see/understand the Awe of God and that we all need Jesus! And lastly, of course we are loving our new addition, Scout. Although, we did find his Achilles heal - other dogs! So, we are working with a trainer to get him to meet and greet others of his kind nicely. Otherwise, he's pretty much an angel. In summary, we've had an eventful summer and here are some snap shots...

Allison wanted to hunt for Brad Womak. So, we did.

We tie dyed.

Tyler making me laugh hard.

Scout in our pond fetching a big stick.

Blizzy business.

Easter Part 2

We left for Dallas Thursday after the kids got out of school. I was a little nervous about the drive with the baby because last time he pretty much hated being in his car seat all that time and let us know. However, he was awesome. Barely made a peep!!! We stopped halfway in Waco for dinner at Rudy's and made it to Dallas all in tact. BUT...Payson was terrified of everyone once we got there and only wanted his mama. The sick part of me was so thrilled about that! Usually, he's happy go lucky and could care less who holds him, but I guess he's getting old enough to recognize people he doesn't know that are getting all up in his face. He puckers out his bottom lip and lets out THE saddest cry. Let me remind you, this baby RARELY cries, so when he does, it makes us so sad:( After the first day, though, he was fine and got passed around from person to person and let them give him some love.

We pretty much took it easy on this trip. Kristine and I got a mani/pedi. We went to eat, did a little shopping, played outside, colored eggs, hunted them, went to church, and drove back home. We missed being with The Austin Stone that met in the Erwin Center this year. I heard it was amazing. But, all in all, we had a good Easter.

I pray for my kids they don't have to wait until they are adults to realize the importance of this season we celebrate...Good Friday and Easter. We read the stories out of the Jesus Storybook Bible and for some reason this year what really got me was the crown of thorns. I was holding back tears while explaining it to the kids. And Easter...without Easter, our faith is void. Without Easter, Jesus was a crazy man. Without Easter, we are condemned. BUT because HE not only died taking on our sin, HE arose 3 days later conquering death so we can too! We can now go from life to life everlasting. He is Risen!

Easter Lunch with Papa and Gigi

Talking to the Easter Bunny - doesn't Piper look skeptical?

With Aunt Teen - Piper's buddy (they have the same chin!)

On a scavenger hunt Aunt Teen set up - team work!

I LOVE this picture - my 3 favorite smiley boys!

Church with the Prices

Easter loot

Dyeing eggs - Papa created a wind proof cup holder. Duct Tape!

So cute!

Letting Go...a little

I remember once during my Freshman year in college, I walked into my dorm room where my roommate and some friends were hanging out and as I walked through, I adjusted things on my way that were out of order or slightly turned the wrong way and the room erupted with laughter. They had conducted an experiment and their hypothesis was proven true. They had turned things around just lightly to see if I'd notice and change things back and of course, I did. As a child I was not like this at all. I hated cleaning, making my bed, or picking my clothes up off the floor. BUT...my dad couldn't stand if a glass was left on the coffee table or the floor was not mopped every single day! My mom used to get so mad at him for putting her drinks away after she had just poured them:) So, I always say when my dad died, he passed on his OCD cleaning spirit to me. Or maybe it was just my way of not letting go of him completely. My roommates over the years...accept my apologies. I thought you were abnormal, but it was really me. My sweet husband who put up with my extreme order and made our bed every day our first few years of marriage, thank you for not making me feel too crazy even though I was/am. To my God who has taught me to relax through 11 weeks of bed rest, twins, crazy dogs, messy friends (I mean this in a truly loving way), and a third child - GLORY! Oh, how life is less stressful when you let go of things that don't matter and that are ultimately out of your control. Nobody in this family ever makes a bed unless we know company is coming over. Toys line our paths. Collections of paper drawings and paintings are posted in almost every room. Do I freak out over spills and stains? Usually, no:) Do I still like order and clean spaces and love my swiffer? Of course, but it doesn't rule me and I can relax in the absence of it in my own home. Now, you will never get me to sit on hotel furniture or a public toilet, BUT - maybe nobody should do that? Ew.

Porter's Room...

Piper's Closet...

The stairs where collecting takes place...

And - my clean kitchen:)...

Why Blog?

I started this blog close to 4 years ago because we were leaving our life long home of Texas to live in Kansas for what we thought could be the rest of our lives. I wanted to keep our friends and family updated on our new adventures. I've continued it despite our move back to Texas mainly because I now print out the blog into books for my kids to remember events in our lives. I'm pretty sure no one in my family - including my sweet hubs - even reads it anymore! Stinkers! I also like having a creative writing outlet even when it's not so creative. Our life, our journey, and our recipes are not that exciting, but for you few readers in "Dallas", "Austin", "New York", "Houston", and the ever vague "United States", I hope you are slightly entertained with our comings and goings. I will never do a "give away" or take pictures of myself in cute outfits (ok, maybe one day I will do that if it's extra cute), but I will continue to blab and hopefully it may get more meaningful.

This picture is irrelevant, but funny:)

36 Days Post Pardum

All of you mommies out there know what my days have been filled with...nursing; rocking; scrambling for pacifiers; giving attention to big bro and sis; showering mid day (maybe); drinking one cup of coffee with many trips to the microwave to reheat it; nursing; laundry; falling asleep while nursing; trying to eat a sandwich while nursing; trying to squeeze into your old jeans, but wearing pajama pants instead...

But - these days will fly by, so I'm cherishing them because they won't happen again. And this smiley, one-dimpled baby makes all the hard work much easier. Porter and Piper didn't start smiling until they were 2 months old, but Payson started around Christmas Eve (not even a month old) and has only gotten smilier since. He has even started to "coo" at us lately and will stay awake and alert for hours! My theory is being proven true...he was born older than the calendar says he is.

Porter and Piper started back to school yesterday. It was a little lonely and quiet, but the day passed quickly and they were home again. Payson loves to watch them and listen to them and they usually are interested in him and helping me with things. Hoping that lasts!

Anyway...

Happy New Year. We have much to be thankful for! I'm not one for resolutions, but thinking I'm going to attempt to "simplify" this year. Someone said recently, "I hope God ruins all of your plans in 2011!" Scary, but a blessing - He is for our good and His plans are better than ours!

He's FINALLY here!

Funny how we prepare and plan for things that are totally out of our control. Not often does it ever turn out the way we think...after all, His ways are not ours. And in the end, whether we understand or not, His ways are best. I did not plan to get pregnant; I was prepared to deliver at 38 weeks; I thought my baby would be in the 7 pound range; and I asked for pain medicine at 7cm dilated. However...I got pregnant, carried for almost 41 weeks and had a 9 pound 12 ounce, 23 inch baby with not a lick of working pain medication. I vow to NEVER do it again and I really hope that at least that part is in His plan:) However, I would not trade a single piece of the story that placed now this precious, perfect baby boy in my arms. Just like with the twins, I prayed for no c-section. Had I had a working epidural, I'm pretty sure I would have ended up with a c-section. But, because I felt EVERY ounce of pain, pressure, and fire, I pushed with every ounce of energy God supplied because more than anything, I wanted that baby OUT of me. Had I not had feeling, I know I would not have been able to push that big boy out. I screamed, cried, dug my fingernails into Tyler's hands, called out to Jesus, kept my eyes closed the entire time, and PUSHED. It may have been a scene from a very dramatic movie that scares people away from childbirth. I yelled "We are not paying for this epidural...it is trash!" at one point too, but I fully expect to still see the bill. And when Payson Jennings finally arrived and the room gasped in shock at his bigness, the pain did not subside, but it was all worth it. He is wonderful and I am unworthy of the blessing. Thank you Jesus, for all of it because it gave us this boy and it gave us an even better picture of your goodness and graciousness.