All Smiles

They say babies can't really smile this soon. I say he was born smiling:)

1 Week Down...

Well, I have to say, recovering from one almost 10 pound baby being delivered sans working epidural is waaaay harder and longer than delivering two 5.5 pound babies without feeling:) Being 34 instead of 28 with two 5 year olds doesn't help either. However, every day gets better and easier. At least I have a few things already figured out this time around and Payson has been a great baby and a pretty good sleeper and did I mention there is only ONE this time? I'm SO glad the twins came first! Speaking of, they seem to have adjusted to baby pretty well. It's only been a week, but besides a few outbursts for attention, they are doing well and love holding and snuggling Payson. But, today is the day I've dreaded...just the two of us alone. My mom is gone and Tyler went back to work, but did help get the kids off to school first - shew! But, we've been on our own the rest of the day. I managed a shower, and we've conquered getting groceries while he slept the whole time! However, back at home, he's gotten 3 outfit changes due to either poop and/or spit up. I should probably change my clothes, too, but I'm not. He does love to eat. In the mean time, the dish washer needs emptied and I need a nap, but it's time to go get the kids from school. I'll pile Payson into the sling which is a challenge that sometimes results in a little fit (from me), but it's getting better. I am still SO thankful each time I look at his sweet little face and can not believe he's here. I can't thank God enough.

He's FINALLY here!

Funny how we prepare and plan for things that are totally out of our control. Not often does it ever turn out the way we think...after all, His ways are not ours. And in the end, whether we understand or not, His ways are best. I did not plan to get pregnant; I was prepared to deliver at 38 weeks; I thought my baby would be in the 7 pound range; and I asked for pain medicine at 7cm dilated. However...I got pregnant, carried for almost 41 weeks and had a 9 pound 12 ounce, 23 inch baby with not a lick of working pain medication. I vow to NEVER do it again and I really hope that at least that part is in His plan:) However, I would not trade a single piece of the story that placed now this precious, perfect baby boy in my arms. Just like with the twins, I prayed for no c-section. Had I had a working epidural, I'm pretty sure I would have ended up with a c-section. But, because I felt EVERY ounce of pain, pressure, and fire, I pushed with every ounce of energy God supplied because more than anything, I wanted that baby OUT of me. Had I not had feeling, I know I would not have been able to push that big boy out. I screamed, cried, dug my fingernails into Tyler's hands, called out to Jesus, kept my eyes closed the entire time, and PUSHED. It may have been a scene from a very dramatic movie that scares people away from childbirth. I yelled "We are not paying for this epidural...it is trash!" at one point too, but I fully expect to still see the bill. And when Payson Jennings finally arrived and the room gasped in shock at his bigness, the pain did not subside, but it was all worth it. He is wonderful and I am unworthy of the blessing. Thank you Jesus, for all of it because it gave us this boy and it gave us an even better picture of your goodness and graciousness.