All Smiles

They say babies can't really smile this soon. I say he was born smiling:)

1 Week Down...

Well, I have to say, recovering from one almost 10 pound baby being delivered sans working epidural is waaaay harder and longer than delivering two 5.5 pound babies without feeling:) Being 34 instead of 28 with two 5 year olds doesn't help either. However, every day gets better and easier. At least I have a few things already figured out this time around and Payson has been a great baby and a pretty good sleeper and did I mention there is only ONE this time? I'm SO glad the twins came first! Speaking of, they seem to have adjusted to baby pretty well. It's only been a week, but besides a few outbursts for attention, they are doing well and love holding and snuggling Payson. But, today is the day I've dreaded...just the two of us alone. My mom is gone and Tyler went back to work, but did help get the kids off to school first - shew! But, we've been on our own the rest of the day. I managed a shower, and we've conquered getting groceries while he slept the whole time! However, back at home, he's gotten 3 outfit changes due to either poop and/or spit up. I should probably change my clothes, too, but I'm not. He does love to eat. In the mean time, the dish washer needs emptied and I need a nap, but it's time to go get the kids from school. I'll pile Payson into the sling which is a challenge that sometimes results in a little fit (from me), but it's getting better. I am still SO thankful each time I look at his sweet little face and can not believe he's here. I can't thank God enough.

He's FINALLY here!

Funny how we prepare and plan for things that are totally out of our control. Not often does it ever turn out the way we think...after all, His ways are not ours. And in the end, whether we understand or not, His ways are best. I did not plan to get pregnant; I was prepared to deliver at 38 weeks; I thought my baby would be in the 7 pound range; and I asked for pain medicine at 7cm dilated. However...I got pregnant, carried for almost 41 weeks and had a 9 pound 12 ounce, 23 inch baby with not a lick of working pain medication. I vow to NEVER do it again and I really hope that at least that part is in His plan:) However, I would not trade a single piece of the story that placed now this precious, perfect baby boy in my arms. Just like with the twins, I prayed for no c-section. Had I had a working epidural, I'm pretty sure I would have ended up with a c-section. But, because I felt EVERY ounce of pain, pressure, and fire, I pushed with every ounce of energy God supplied because more than anything, I wanted that baby OUT of me. Had I not had feeling, I know I would not have been able to push that big boy out. I screamed, cried, dug my fingernails into Tyler's hands, called out to Jesus, kept my eyes closed the entire time, and PUSHED. It may have been a scene from a very dramatic movie that scares people away from childbirth. I yelled "We are not paying for this epidural...it is trash!" at one point too, but I fully expect to still see the bill. And when Payson Jennings finally arrived and the room gasped in shock at his bigness, the pain did not subside, but it was all worth it. He is wonderful and I am unworthy of the blessing. Thank you Jesus, for all of it because it gave us this boy and it gave us an even better picture of your goodness and graciousness.

Acupuncture?

I decided to give it a try. I'm 40 weeks and 4 days and exhausting all efforts before this little guy has to be medically induced. So, I had my second acupuncture treatment today. Not sure if it's working, but it's actually kind of relaxing during it. Today she said she used bigger, longer needles, but I really can't even feel any of it. When she was done today and I was watching her pulling them all out, she told me I probably didn't want to watch and I said it didn't bother me. She said "I think you ready for pain of contraction". I hope so! At this point, I would welcome that pain because it means he will be born soon. In the mean time, I have no real signs of impending labor, but I am exhausted most of the time. Going to the doc tomorrow and hoping for progression, but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the exact same I've been for over a month. Good news is she wants to monitor the baby from here on out, so I'll get a sonogram and get to see that little stinker. Unless, of course, he wants to grace us with his presence tonight which we would make me ecstatic!

40 Weeks - Thanksgiving (and a stubborn little turkey!)

Today is the official day. I for sure thought we'd have a little bundle to hold and be thankful for by now, and yet - we are no less thankful that he is deciding to stay put a little longer. I say I'm thankful and I truly am that we are both still healthy and this pregnancy has been uneventful, BUT...I cannot stress enough how ready I am for Payson to be here! We are ALL ready. I seriously feel like he is not coming out on his own. Lord knows I've tried everything. I even lost a pound at my last appointment most likely due to all the walking I'm doing trying to walk him out. I got acupuncture for the first time in my life and was hopeful, but alas, no difference today. The twins were 5 weeks old by this time! Sheesh! So, we didn't really plan to cook on Thanksgiving considering we may or may not be in the hospital. Looks like we won't be, but thank goodness for great friends who invited us to their Thanksgiving dinner. I just have to make some pies which I'm about to do. I also decorated the house for Christmas this morning (with the help of two little elves) and took a 2 mile walk. So, if Payson decides to come today, I just may be too tired to push him out:) I think I'll find some strength somewhere though. Pray for his arrival, please...soon and safe!

39 and Holding

Yep, I'm still here, as big as a house, waiting on Payson to decide he's done taking up all the space in my abdomen. You would think he's not very comfy in there considering all the squirming he does 24/7, but nope--he seems to like his home in my belly just fine. And the kicker is I'm not really physically miserable...no swelling to speak of, still walking around, no pain, etc. It's the mental part that's testing my patience. Mentally, I'm so DONE...I don't want to pregnant anymore; I want to hold and meet this baby; I want to celebrate Thanksgiving with a baby, not a belly that has very little room for food anymore. But, alas, just chalking this up to lessons God teaches me and I have yet to learn...patience, no worries, I'm not in control, peace, it's not about me, praise Him in suffering, joy in trials. And in the long run, I really have NOTHING to complain about...this baby and myself are and have been healthy throughout this pregnancy and he's going to be born big (or "solid" as my doctor said yesterday) and ready to face the world...unlike the twins who needed a little more time and help. Isn't that what I wanted? Yes, but after being pregnant for just 35 weeks last time, 39 seems like eternity. Hoping to share a birth story not an overdue story next post!!!

Still Pregnant

38 weeks and here I am - the same as I was at 37 weeks...no progress. I truly never thought my body or this baby would hold on so tightly. Somewhere in the deepest part of me, I am truly thankful despite how mentally done I am with being pregnant. I know the longer, the better for baby if he's not ready to emerge, but sheesh! So, I'm eating pineapple and spicy food, walking around the neighborhood, bouncing on the exercise ball, and well - you know (wink, wink). But...nothing seems to be changing. Baby is in control, not me. However, I'd really like him here before Thanksgiving!!! It's getting colder and I have no pants that fit.